Updated: Aug 8
Inspired by Dan Lok
A lot of people who struggle in life think they can’t become rich or successful because they don’t have money, enough capital, the right idea, or the right connection. But that is not what holds people back. What holds people back is the one thing we call “EGO.”
1.“The Blame” Ego: Lame people blame people. This is not my fault! It’s the government's fault! It’s my dysfunctional family… It’s always someone else’s fault. Blaming people, especially those close to us, when things don’t go well can have a severely damaging effect on your relationships, families, and career. By making everything everyone else’s fault you are actually making yourself powerless. Think about it — if everything is someone else’s fault, then that means you don’t have the power to change anything. Take your power back! Work on your self-esteem issue. The more self-worth you have, the more you will be able to manage being responsible for yourself and not blaming others.
2. “They Know It All” Ego: I know what I’m doing…I do not need to read a book, I know what I’m talking about… Life is all about being a student and teacher at the same time. Students come first! Self-education is the key to success. Never stop learning. You have to be a proactive learner.
Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people from their experiences, stupid people already have all the answers.” — Socrates
3.“The Fearful” Ego: The most common emotion that holds people back. Fear of failure, fear of making a mistake. The reason that first thing that you say to yourself is: What if it doesn’t work? What if I lose money? What if I make a mistake…
It’s nothing else than a story that you make up in your mind. There is nothing wrong or bad about failing at something. It is how we learn and grow. Failure would only make you stronger and smarter.
4.“The Comfort Zone” Ego: I’m comfortable; I am happy where I am, I’m content! And that’s the problem; your income zone is your comfort zone. When you get comfortable, you are not growing, and when you’re not growing; you’re dying!
Being successful is uncomfortable, so if you want to become a leader, you have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. You have to make changes to your daily routine. Try something new until you feel comfortable. Challenge yourself every day!!
5.“The Judgmental” Ego: I want you to imagine this situation: You’re walking on the street, and you see a Red Ferrari just drop by, what is the first thought that comes to your mind? Be honest, no filter, the very first thought?
He’s an asshole…Who does think he is? So selfish, he uses his daddy's money, or if it’s a woman, she’s a gold digger. With all these negative thoughts, my question is, How do you know? How do you know that man is not a hard worker, a family man, or a volunteer? You actually project your own insecurities, your own values on other people… You judge and come to your own conclusion before you talk to this person. There’s a story behind every person. Instead of judgment, observe and be curious. Seek more information. Expand the gap between observation and conclusion.
6. “The Excuses” Ego: You can become successful or you can make excuses, you cannot do both! An excuse is nothing more than a well-planned LIE. I can’t afford it, I don’t have money, that’s too far, it’s too difficult, I don’t have enough experience, I’m too young; I’m too old, I’m an immigrant, I’m speaking with an accent, I don’t have enough experience, it’s too late; I’m married, or I have kids.…
Excuses lead to failure: When you make an excuse, you aren’t even giving yourself a shot to succeed, which can limit you in every area of your life. You may never even know what you’re capable of if you have an excuse for everything that comes your way. If you try something instead of making up an excuse to avoid it, there is a big chance that you will be glad you tried it! Believing in yourself is the first step to success.
7.“The People Pleasing” Ego: I just want to make sure everybody is happy… You try to please people too much. You always put other people first, nothing wrong with that, but sometimes in life, you have to put yourself first. Learn to say NO! Saying no doesn’t mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs. You cannot pour into others from an empty cup. If you want to give someone else your best, you need to be the best version of yourself first. You need to take care of yourself first!
8.“The Justification” Ego: It is not the same thing as lying or making excuses. … It is more powerful and more dangerous because it convinces you that you can’t make it. It keeps you from success: Putting yourself down, negative self-talk, negative thought… This is what we call self-sabotage!
Whatever self-sabotaging behaviors you have, it’s essential that you overcome them if you are to make the most of your life.
9.“The Jealous” Ego: Remind yourself that nobody has it all. Whether your jealousy stems from insecurity, fear, or past relationship patterns, knowing more about the causes can help you figure out how to confront it. Examining your jealous feelings can give you insight on where they come from. And always remember, you don’t know what hardships someone else may be experiencing. Even if an individual doesn’t appear to be struggling on the outside, you have no idea what sort of mental battles that person may be fighting.
10.“The Fake” Ego: If you are this kind of person who wears a mask to act and become a different person….and because you have done that for many years, you don’t know anymore who you are. You don’t know which one it’s the real you. You lost yourself!!! It’s time to reconnect with your True Self. I would rather be hated for who I really am than be loved for someone who I am not — Dan Lok Be yourself! By letting go of the arbitrary limits on yourself and interacting with everyone freely, you might find that it catches on to the right people around you!
11. “The Shy” Ego: I’m shy and introverted, I’m not good with people; I don’t like to speak up and be around people. If you want to become successful, you have to get out of your comfort zone. Don’t use your personality as an excuse to hold you back to become successful.
12. “Other People’s Opinion” Ego: Be honest, do you worry a lot about what people think about you? Don’t let other people’s opinions stop you from doing what you know it’s right for you. Don’t let haters stop you. Don’t let small minded-people stop you. Those people can be family, friends, teachers, and social media. Everybody’s acceptance is not a blessing.
13. “The Do it Yourself” Ego: If I want something done, I have to do it myself, it would never be good as mine, or I don’t trust people… Well, remember that nothing great is accomplished with just one person. It requires other people, it requires teamwork. It is one of the most common Egos that hold people back, especially Entrepreneurs!!! You will always need someone to get to the next level. Remember that!
The ego is part of our personalities that deals with the external world and is the feeling of “I”. It is the self-conscious part of us that want to be in control, have a plan, and is always obsessed with our safety, reputation, personal interest, and survival. The only things familiar to the ego are current experiences and the experiences themselves becoming a fabric of reality. There are very common limiting belief systems that are passed from generation to generation and person to person much like a virus — a mind virus. These sneaky viruses usually go undetected because they are so common, or normal, in our society that one rarely even notices that they have been infected.
For this reason, they’re really easy to spread. The good news is there is an easy cure — Awareness! Once you become aware of one of these buggers you can choose to believe something different, immediately killing the virus and freeing yourself from those egos!